Wow. Instead of jocking myself for correctly picking both conference title games, I'm going to have to devote all my attention this week to two crazy developments that occurred in my once favorite league, the NBA. While the Steelers and Seahawks both stamped their respective tickets to Motown this past Sunday, a media plagued superstar in LA was stamping his own ticket to the Hall of Fame. Not to say Kobe wasn't a lock already with his three rings, but now he has entered a territory only one other man has ever journeyedvideo game-like points!
81. That's Kobe's number plus a 1, because he is now in my mind the no. 1 player in this league (how interesting was that breakdown? It literally took me like 10 seconds to think of). Now I'm going to start by saying this, Kobe is no Jordan yet. Aside from the fact that I don't really see anyone becoming the next MJ, Kobe has tainted himself more in the past 3 years than Jordan has in his whole life of losing money in blackjack at Caesars Palace. But seriously, what the hell was with the backlash this guy got in the week that followed his historic performance?
I'm not a huge Kobe supporter, because he has proven to be an egotistical ball-hog several times in his career, but his performance on Sunday was not a case of a player being selfish. Pat Riley, with his slicked back greasy hair and old man tan had the AUDACITY to say that any player could score 81 if his team complied. This is a total crock of shit coming from a man who knows enough about the league to realize how ignorant he sounds. I'll write this in caps so everyone can see what my main point is in defending my argument, IF SCORING 80 POINTS WAS SO EASY, ALLEN IVERSON WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY.
AI's highest total? A measly 60 points (ok, I know that's quite impressive). But come on, AI has chucked over 30 shots a bunch of times in his career, over 40 a few times. The reason Kobe was able to reach the unheard of amount of 46 shots was because he wasn't missing them! He steadily shot over 50 percent all game. Why the hell would he pass it to Von Wafer when he's that hot? (I could have said Lamar Odom, but it wouldn't have been as funny).
And then we have Vince Carter of all people saying Kobe was giving a bad example to the kids by taking over the game like he did. I never understood this expression, but is that ever the pot calling the kettle black? Yeah Vince, I guess openly admitting that you dogged it several games in Toronto to force a trade is really admirable. I guess all teenage players across the nation should start playing really bad in hopes of being traded to another high school instead of doing something atrocious like scoring 81 points in a huge comeback win. What a douchebag.
And that is the bottom line. His team was down by 18 in the third quarter. He scored 55 in 24 minutes (that's MJ's infamous double nickel in one half) so his team could win the game. Yet some people, mainly his peers in the league tried to analyze the situation as another way for Kobe to garner some media attention. Scoring that many points will always do that though, no matter who you are. Once again, you don't have to like him to acknowledge what Bryant did. Give respect where respect is due. Kobe dropped 81 points on the Raptors. Second most all time, behind a record few people ever thought would be broken, and now it possibly could. END OF STORY.
Moving right along, that crazy bastard Ron Artest finally got traded this week, in a move me and my sports loving friends have namedropped once or twice. The Pacers get Peja in return, who hopefully can raise his points per game and field goal percentage in his new locale. That's all he really has to do. People can rag on his defense and hustle all they want, but no one was bad mouthing him as much when he scored about five points more and shot a better clip. As for Crazy, he's reluctantly joining the struggling Kings. It's a great move for Sac Town, who are not losing any points but are gaining A LOT on hustle and defense. What's the problem though? I just said it, Ron Artest is crazy!
I mean come on, who doesn't want to play for the Maloofs? I can imagine when you join the team they shower you with casino chips from their Palms hotel and surround you with hot Vegas strippers. Just imagine Joe Maloof in that deep smelly voice of his saying, Hey Ron, welcome to the Palms! It's gonna be a blast man! Plus Crazy will be close to LA, a perfect spot to focus on that horrible R&B group he may or may not still manage (for stats I double check, for this I could care less).Speaking of Artest's unstable mental state, I was wondering who are the five craziest athletes in sports history? He has got to be up there, but I will exclude TO. He isn't crazy; he's just a dick. When my buddy Ian started iming me some quotes from a certain deranged boxer, I knew I had my number one set, I just had to come up with the rest. So, I leave you with my top five craziest athletes of all time! (or just the ones I could think of in the 35 minutes before going to Atlantic City. I'm going to kill the hold em tables baby!)
5. Bill Romanowski- Of his many scuffles as a linebacker in the NFL, Romo got the most attention for his altercation with teammate Marcus Williams in 2003, punching him in the face and breaking his eye socket, forcing him to retire. He has since apologized.
4. Bobby Valentine- OK, so he is a crazy manager. But does anyone remember his mustache disguise to get back in the dugout like 5 years back? In fact, does anyone remember any other manager doing anything remotely close to that just to come back and watch his team lose? I think not.
3. Ron Artest- I put crazy at number three, mainly for his off the court issues and the brawl in Detroit. But I have to include that he donned 91 in that shortened season to honor the no. 2 player on our list
2. Dennis Rodman- The transgender power forward was the bad boy of the league before Artest (in a much more sexually explicit way). But I will always remember the time he fell into a cameraman after a play, and decided to, for no good reason; kick the guy square in the nuts.
1. Iron Mike Tyson- Why bother getting into his wife beating, ear biting, children eating threatening life story?
Let me just show you those quotes I was talking about. [He] called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse.' I'm not a recluse.
"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him [Lennox Lewis]. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children."
"Anyone with a grain of sense would know that if I punched my wife I would rip her head off. It's all lies. I have never laid a finger on her."
"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."
And finally...
"One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like a infantile retard."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment