Manning beats Rex in Super Bowl XLI
As wonderfully witty as I am, I cannot take credit for the photo to the right. It was in fact guest Jew columnist Gaba-gooz who came up with the clever connotation of combining both Super Bowl quarterbacks (Peyton Manning, Rex Grossman) into one Rex Manning, the over-the-hill rock star from the film Empire Records. Which may I add is one of those so bad-its good-but ultimately bad again movies that make random runs on HBO. It has its moments (always been a fan of Anthony LaPaglia’s catalog), but it’s mostly filled with scenes involving either Liv Tyler or Renee Zellweger that are totally gay. Whether it’s the diet pills scene or rooftop performance of sugar high, yup, Empire Records is pretty damn homo.
On another note, the Colts won the Super Bowl yesterday. So now sports enthusiasts around the world can stop pestering Peyton Manning, who may I add looked pretty unenthused when the clock ticked down to 0:00. Overall, I wasn’t to into the game. The first quarter was filled with momentum changing plays, and hence, was very exciting. But aside from Hester’s return and Wayne’s touchdown, the rest of those plays were fumbles. I don’t know about anyone else, but usually for me fumbles are the sign of a bad game. And for the most part that’s what Super Bowl XLI was. A lot of long drives ended with three points, and midway through the fourth quarter everyone pretty much knew the Bears had no chance of coming back. It would have taken two defensive scores, because Grossman showed no signs of completing one scoring drive by game’s end, let alone two.
Aside from the mediocre game, there were some other interesting things of note from the evening, provided by my friends mostly. So instead of breaking down the game like I usually do, here are my favorite highlights from the Super Bowl.
• OK, my first isn’t a favorite, but more of an observation that had to be made. This year’s commercials sucked! No office chimps? No hipster cavemen? Not like I could hear them to well anyway, but the award for weirdest Super Bowl commercial definitely goes to that GM spot where the robot dreams of committing suicide. Hello…what the fuck was that? First off my brother brought up a great point. With all the “human beings” GM probably lays off in a give year, I don’t think making a joke about getting fired in the auto-industry is too appropriate. Aside from that, the commercial (with a protagonist that looked like Johnny 5 from Short Circuit) was just a little too eerie for my tastes. I was a tad high at the time it came on, and found myself sitting there, feeling sad for a robotic arm. In closing, General Motors really messed with my head.
• And finally, Train-Wreck of the Night goes to my good friend Brandon Mirailh, who was in rare form throughout the entire game. First off, he must have lost a combined eight seats for not calling fives when getting up for a beer, something my psychotic friends take very seriously. On top of that, he managed to kick over at least three beers while stumbling across the apartment, at one time doing so while losing a seat for not calling fives, which caused him to yell “Damn It!” in his loud Brooklyn accent. To top that off, he somehow finagled his way into several rounds of a heated halftime game of cee-lo while throwing down an unbreakable $20 bill, and in a sense, kept playing for free while all my friends yelled at him. A truly amazing performance all around. Peyton definitely robbed the MVP trophy.
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