Friday, December 22, 2006

“Matt Geiger is an ugly man”

The NBA season so far.

Alright, alright. It’s time to take a little break from the NFL, and divert some much needed attention to the first month and a half of the NBA season. Going into the 06-07 campaign, I had very little interest or faith in the league this year, most of this having to do with the dreadful forecast in line for the Knicks. If this sounds familiar, it’s because I had a very similar attitude towards the Jets this year. While the Jets have surpassed my expectations by a mile, the Knicks…well, they’re just about where I thought they’d be at. And they added a good ole brawl for good measure!

Isiah Thomas has proven that his off the court incompetence isn’t just limited to managing, but to coaching the Knicks as well. I think it was a few weeks ago when in the late stages of the game, and the Knicks down by a few, Zeke decided to truly demonstrate his worth to this team by arguing a call, getting two technicals and getting the boot. His retarded rant gave the opposing team a free throw and a possession. It’s truly something when your coach could affect the outcome of a game in such a negative way.

One more quick note about Zeke, before I continue on to some other notes about the Knicks and the NBA season so far. Has anyone noticed the puzzle piece on his lapel? I don’t know what it represents, I would hope it’s for a charity; but does anyone agree that Isiah may be trying to say he is the missing piece of the puzzle? That would truly be something. In my view, I don’t think the man can even complete a puzzle. He strikes me as the type of guy who would try to help his daughter match that one really irregular piece, only to get frustrated, start cursing, and then eventually jam it into the wrong spot. His daughter would look down at the puzzle in confusion, and then look back at her father, now sporting his classic creepy Isiah Thomas smile. So in a nutshell, that’s what I think of Isiah’s coaching style.

Moving right along, this season has provided some interesting subplots in its early stages. The Knicks managed to follow “Suspension Fest ’06” with two games that started synonymously with their season so far (getting blown out at home), only to comeback in amazing fashion to win both with two buzzer beaters! Is it something to marvel at in the moment? Of course. Does it mean the Knicks have a shot at doing something this year? Let’s find out.

A brawl, two buzzer beaters and a rebounding machine with a Jew-fro

I think that sums up the Knicks season so far, no? First off, here’s my two cents on the brawl. I didn’t see it live, so its hard to base my opinion in the context of what happened, especially what led up to it. All I will say is this. Isiah Thomas definitely had something to do with it. There is evidence of him verbally provoking a hard foul, if a Nugget drove to the basket (and yes, he was sporting the creepy smile while doing so). Mardy Collins was definitely the fall-guy in the situation, kind of like when they send a newbie to whack someone in the mafia. You’re not really going to miss his presence if your enemies (the NBA in this case) try to retaliate.

With that said, Carmelo Anthony definitely threw one hell of a sucker punch. I can only imagine his girlfriend, Lala from MTV, calling him a “punk-ass bitch” later in the night, and refusing to let him “hit that.” But the person who let me down the most in this whole thing is Nate Robinson. I really had high hopes for him coming into this year, and as of right now, these are the two things he is best know for this season. 1. Attempting a self alley-oop, and missing horribly. 2. Jumping on J.R. Smith like a cliché midget character in a movie when provoked with a barrage of “midget jokes.” On top of that, he is averaging -5 assists per game. Mighty Mouse has certainly not come to save the day. Zing!

But as low as the Knicks looked Sunday morning on the front page of every New York tabloid, they managed to revamp their image with two amazing finishes. Game-winning buzzer beaters are simply too rare and thrilling to ignore. But this team is still a mess in my view; without a real leader, without any intensity or effort on defense and “with” Isiah Thomas still calling the shots. They’re lucky they are playing in the worst division in NBA history as Greg Anthony labeled the Atlantic on ESPN radio, because I think the playoffs are a very realistic goal even for them.

More ball swapping than a Jenna Jameson film

When I first saw the new NBA ball, only one thing caught my attention. Why don’t the lines go all the way around? Instead, the seams (I guess that’s what you can call them) connect to create a futuristic looking ball, that I could imagine Neo and Morpheus would use for a pick-up game. Oddly enough, NBA analysts never discussed the ball’s new design. The debate over the new rock was all about its grip and bounce. I don’t really have a point here.

Rocky Mountain A.I.

The Allen Iverson trade fiasco didn’t last nearly as long as I thought it would, and even more surprisingly, Billy King scored a pretty decent deal. He got cap relief (Joe Smith’s expiring contract) a solid point guard (Dre Miller) and two first round picks. Sure those picks will be in the late first round, but this team is going to have a high first rounder next year as well. Plus there have been a bunch of talented guys going 20-29 recently, just look at David Lee. Now all King has to do is not fuck up this very important draft in 07. He probably will though.

As for Iverson’s impact in Denver, it’s going to take two re-adjustment periods. First when A.I. makes his debut with the team, and then when Melo is thrown back in the mix. It has the potential to be great, but no one with able to know for sure until some games get played. I don’t like to predict things that are so new and untested, as in Iverson playing alongside another superstar for the first time in his career. This is a guy whose big teammates have included a rejuvenated and bald Matt Geiger, which reminds me of a game from the Sixers finals run in 2001 on TNT. During the post game studio session, while breaking down the action, Charles Barkley decided to interject with this insightful observation. “Matt Geiger is an ugly man.” Sportscasting at its finest if you ask me.

One thing about A.I…he has to watch out in Denver. He’s not in Philly anymore, a city full of crazies who booed Santa Claus. He is now playing in a strict, conservative city, where Kobe was put on a witch trial. So Allen, you may want to take it easy with the gun-wielding drunken ambushes at your baby’s mama’s place. And if so, at least put a pair of pants on. Other than that, I think they have a shot at the title.

1 comment:

Mark said...

The isiah run knicks are the basketball equivalent of the new star wars movies - same name, sometimes fun, but just empty, and in the end so bad they might ruin your memories of your childhood.
-Mark Lungs