12-3...

That's right, that's right. In my first week ever of picking winners in the NFL, I went an impressive 12-3 (with the exception of the Miami-Pittsburgh game, which was played before I wrote my column). I don't mean to brag, it's not like I'm trying to become Matthew McConaughey's character in "2 for the money" or anything. And I never really got that character anyway. I never envisioned someone who's an expert at betting football games to be a good-looking young guy who does push-ups in his boxers. To me, its more of a fat, balding guy who runs a betting pool at his brokerage firm, and owns league pass, while playing in 5 fantasy football leagues under the name "SuzyKolber fan69".

Speaking of fantasy football, my first week in that was not as impressive. It's not a good thing when two of the quarterbacks you've selected (in this case Jake Plummer and Drew Bledsoe) are the topic of every "which qb should be benched first?" segment on SportsCenter. I really hope it doesn't come to the point where I have to pick up some guy named Tony Romo in a couple of weeks (although I am a big fan of his ribs) because Bledsucks keeps throwing the ball directly into the hands of defenders. I swear he does it sometimes just to give that "I can't catch a break" look after going to the sideline, when it's obviously his fault.

Moving right along, Week 2 of the season is almost entirely made up of divisional match-ups, some will be good games (Giants-Eagles, Jets-Patriots) others should be blowouts (Bengals-Browns, Bears-Lions). I'm going to break down the NY teams playing this weekend, both playing their biggest rivals, and both in need of a win. The Giants case is obvious, they lost the Manning Bowl and do not want to give one up the Eagles, which would put them in the early season cellar of the NFC East. The Jets on the other hand won their Week 1 game, but against the lowly Titans. A win against Mangina's old battery mates (I don't know if I'm using that term correctly) would definitely make the Jets the talk of the town. Shit, it would make them the talk of the whole league. Lets go Jets!

Patriots at Jets (Patriots favored -6 "nigga please??")

Six points, eh? Well that's two field goals Mike Nugent probably won't hit, so who knows, it could be accurate. Seriously at this point, I rather have Ted Nugent handling extra points. He has long, limber legs that could definitely clear the uprights (and with that and the McConaughey comment, I've made my first two homo-erotic references of the season, and it's only Week 2). But screw the Jets kicker, this game has so many layers, that the whole "football being 90 percent (or something) mental" saying definitely comes into play. Lets break it down, shall we?

First off, these two teams are known for swapping coaches more than Fox is for swapping wives. It all started when Parcells left the Pats to coach the Jets in 1997 (New England, many people forget, went on to hire old Jets coach and current USC coach Pete Carroll). Then when the Tuna jumped ship, Bill "the traitor" Belichick performed some "dutch-door-action" on the Jets and left for the Pats (he resigned after one day, the coward). Throw in some jabroni named Al Grogh, and it's enough to make a sitcom out of. Mangina brings the coaching carousel full circle, by giving the Jets a piece of the New England Dynasty's infamous coaching staff.

While Gina had a sub-par year taking over for Romeo Cronell as defensive coordinator last season, his claim to fame was coaching the team's excellent secondary during their 3 Super Bowl runs. In the Jets week one win, they had 3 picks, and with a secondary made up mostly nobodies. Does this compute into Mangina being a pass defense guru? It's hard to say, Kerry Collins was playing quarterback.

This week they are going against Tom Brady, who didn't dazzle much in his debut either. A big problem with that may be the lack of his favorite receiving target, Deion Branch, which brings us to another one of the game's subplots. Earlier this week, the Pats had the nerve to file tampering charges against the Jets, who claim the team tried to lure him with trade talks without conferring with their (the Pats) front office. I can only imagine how much crazier it would be if Deion did sign with the Jets, and was in the lineup for this game. I could picture him scoring a touchdown, and Asante Samuel scissor kicking him in the face, while back-flipping his way back to the locker room. (Note, I have no knowledge as to any stealth ninja skills possessed by Asante Samuels. I just think he has a cool name).

So basically, this game should be a pressing one, physically and psychologically. The big question for me and every other Jets fan is "can Chad Pennington hold up." OK, he's talented, and his passing accuracy and determination is enough to make him compete. But I've said it before, and I'll say it again, his peripheral vision leaves a lot to be desired. If Chad keeps getting blindsided by two-man rushes, while his arm is in mid-swing, there's a good chance his rotator cuff will stop rotating, and this time for good. I want to have faith, but it's way too early. However, a successful game at home vs. New England will definitely help. I'm going to have to be a homer two weeks in a row, and say the Jets will have people talking on Monday morning, and not about Desperate Housewives, which is a very gay show.

Giants at Eagles (Eagles favored 3)

So, in a very entertaining game, which included a pretty sick and under-looked td by Plaxico, big brother conquered over little one. And I basically stated in last week's column that Peyton was still the premier quarterback, even though I picked the Giants to win. Looking back, I have no idea why I did that. I basically soaked Peyton's cork for about four paragraphs, and then said, "I'm gonna take the Giants." That's like the equivalent of macking a really hot chick at a bar, and doing a real good job at it, only to forget about her and drunkenly make-out with some ugly chick at the end of the night. It doesn't make sense. It's fucking stupid.

As for this game, I can tell I'm really going to hate picking Eagles-Giants games, and anyone who has watched them can understand why. The Eagles were realistically the most underrated team going into this season, as everyone forgot Donovan McNabb went to three straight conference title games before T.O. came to town. Plus, they have a solid "core," O-Line and defensive front seven. If Stallworth is a legit no. 1 receiver, and Westbrook could have a solid year as a combo-back, there is no reason why Philly can't rebound from their disappointing 05-06 year and win the division again.

Everyone says the NFC East is the best division in football, and I'm not positive it is. Look at the AFC North with the Steelers, Bengals and Ravens, who finally look to have their defense back to Super Bowl form. Of course you cant count at the high scoring AFC West, which has three teams all capable of winning the division, and is always a fight to the end. And if Tampa can rebound from their dismembering by the Ravens, you got to think the NFC South, with three elite defenses, and a last place team with Reggie Bush could be the conference's best team. So what does this leave the NFC East as? I'd say they're definitely the most "publicized" division in football, what with the TO saga, the Cowboys being "America's team," Dan Snyder's attempt to make the Redskins the salary-capped Yankees of football, and the G-Men, New York's favorite team...that plays in New Jersey.

In this division, I think success will truly be determined by quarterback play, which should have Dallas and Washington sweating early. The Cowboys have the potential to implode more than any of the teams, and the Redskins are underachieving big time with every pre-season move they make. So who does that leave at the top of the division? The Eagles and the Giants. And hey, they have good situations at quarterback, and solid defenses as well. Only with the Eagles, they have had a better track record of not choking when the postseason comes. Sure they lost three straight conference titles games, but the Giants lost in round one last year to the Panthers, and badly. I'm liking the Eagles this week to prove their NFC East dominance, setting up a probable all green Super Bowl. Yeah, that's right.

Rest of the week's picks:
Dolphins over Bills
Vikings over Panthers
Bengals over Browns
Bears over Lions
Colts over Texans
Saints over Green Bay
Ravens over Raiders (lock pick)
Falcons over Bucs
Seahawks over Cardinals
49ers over Rams
Denver over Kansas City
Chargers over Titans
Cowboys over Redskins
Jaguars over Steelers