So…PRANOS.

Fuck the arena-rock scored ending, I’m here to complain about the rest of the show.

Going into last night’s overly hyped finale of the Sopranos, the only television drama I have ever seen every episode of, I honestly did not want to see any of the following scenarios play out…

a. Tony gets whacked by the New York crew, abruptly or climactically.
b. Tony snitches to his friends in the F.B.I., relocates Henry Hill style.
c. New Jersey triumphs over New York, the remaining Sopranos crew live to tell about it.
d. Tony meets his maker within his own kin, either Carmela, A.J., Janice, etc…

Of course I left out Paulie snitching/turning, a Newhart esq. “it was all a dream” sequence, or the countless other predictions made on talk radio and fan blogs in the week leading up to the finale. When people asked me my prediction, the response was simple. “I don’t really have one, it’s almost irrelevant, I just want the show to be good.” Ever since an almost flawless first three seasons, the show has traded off good and bad years in my mind, leading up to the final slate of nine episodes that for the most part didn’t disappoint. The last episode was one of my favorite ever, albeit it had a high hit count, but more because it was perfect from beginning to end.

Last night’s episode, however, was far from it. From the moment it began, I patiently awaited a perfectly structured narrative to unravel before my eyes, hoping that David Chase could pull of a finale which didn’t adhere to any cliché prediction, but at the same time, left me thoroughly entertained and satisfied. I know a straight forward narrative is not the man’s style, but he has proven on many occasions his capability to tell a good story. A half an hour into the show, my patience and faith in the finale seriously began to dwindle. When the clock reached 8:50, I knew there was very little chance that the episode’s ending, no matter what it was, could save what I felt about the entire finale.

And then…the ending that everybody just can’t stop talking about. The uneasy tension of Tony waiting for his family at a dingy diner, a place which prior to this episode, we never thought the Soprano clan would be caught dead in (and after the black screen, maybe they were). A majority of fans were left frustrated that Chase left everything up to interpretation, and a few even insulted that he tried to trick them into thinking their cable went out. His decision not to use any exit music was as if he wanted dead silence to resonate in every living room across the country. Me, I wasn’t at all shocked. It was a typical of a guy who probably secretly hates a majority of the lowbrow mafia movie fans who have come to embrace his show just for the…whacking.

But my beef wasn’t really with those final four minutes, as the title of this column states. To me, most people who view television and film make too big of a deal over how the show or movie ends. It’s almost as if an entire film can suck, and as long as the ending is amazing, none of that matters anymore. I really don’t understand that logic one bit. Nor would I deduct points from a really good Sopranos episode if the ending left something to the imagination. But this was perhaps, in all honestly, one of the dullest, poorly written, directed and in one character’s case, acted episodes of the show’s entire run. And that is what people should really be complaining about, the first fifty minutes, not the final four.

Where do I begin? Well first off, the episode obviously threw narrative out of the window, by stringing together what felt like 50 one-minute scenes, which when viewed on their own, feel rushed and underdeveloped. Whether it was Paulie complaining about a curious cat or Meadow having another (and repetitive) convo with Tony about social inequalities, I really wish they could have done something fresher that actually had a cause and effect. It’s one thing for Chase to make sure not every storyline is wrapped with a bow on it, it’s another to make sure none are resolved.

If I had to boil it down to one thing that really angered me about the episode, and honestly, the Sopranos in general, is the amount of attention that was placed on A.J., Tony’s always troubled son. More like inconsistent. In my view, this character was the most poorly developed in the show’s whole cast, and he happens to play the patriarch’s only son. It’s not because I dislike his character. I can’t stand Janice, but yearn for her scenes sometimes. A.J. is just a horribly inconsistent, overly obnoxious, befuddled character, and what makes it even worse is how awful an actor Robert Iller is. None of his rambling rants, when he attempts to justify his means, ever sound slightly believable, almost as if Chase’s signature dialogue is too hard for him to express. I guess when you hire an actor at age 10; it’s hard to predict if he’s got the chops to carry such a complex character past his adolescence.

There were few things I liked. The only scene I really enjoyed was when Tony visited Uncle Junior, who has become such a shell of him former self, his only response to being informed that he used to North Jersey was, “that sounds nice.” Other than that really, the first 50 minutes of Sopranos, the bulk of my favorite drama’s final episode, was one of its worst. As for the ending, I wasn’t crazy about it. But if the content of what led into it was all the more better, who knows, maybe I could deal with the fact that Chase decided to end Sopranos on these two final notes.

a. Meadow can’t parallel park
b. The Sopranos eat their onion rings whole

Wow, that list is a lot different from what everyone else predicted. Mission accomplished…I guess.

And as for those who praise the ending for its build-up and originality…it’s called suspense people. Alfred Hitchcock and countless horror directors have been doing it for years, and were able to make my heart pump a lot faster than that ending ever could.

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE:

Yikes, I am really procrastinating on these division previews. At this pace, I will have the 2007 NL West Preview just in time for the All-Star Break. That’s a problem. So my mission, if I am willing to accept it, is to get these five remaining previews done in the next two weeks, before the Mets open the season against the Cardinals on April 1. I still can’t believe those losers won the World Series. I don’t think I’ve even seen the highlight reel of them clinching the damn thing. Hands down the most pathetic excuse for a world champion since David Arquette won the WCW Championship belt. On we go to the AL Central…


Detroit Tigers: Last year’s surprise team shouldn’t be taken lightly this season, meaning I don’t think a performance drop-off is in the cards. What drove the Tigers last season, their solid starting pitching, has remained completely intact for 2007. Their rotation is led by two young arms in Jeremy Bonderman, considered their fantasy stud/ace, and last year’s Rookie of the Year Justin Verlander. Nate Robertson (not Nate Robinson) is a very solid number four starter. And while he’s either guilty of defacing baseballs or wiping his ass with his hand, “George Clooney impersonator extraordinaire” Kenny Rogers should add another 15 win season in the twilight of his career. The guy was able to shed the stigma of beating up a cameraman last off-season, so how hard could it be to make people forget you cheated in the World Series?

A big misconception with the Tigers is that they have an average lineup, when in fact their offense last year was one of the league’s best. The team finished eighth in runs, sixth in homers and tenth in batting average. The thing is they spread the production throughout the order, and they don’t have that one big power bat as their automatic All-Star. Now while he’s getting up there in age (screw it, he’s already there), Gary Sheffield could be that guy if he stays healthy this season. He’s going to be nestled in the lineup with their second and third best hitters, Magglio Ordonez and Carlos Guillen, which is a pretty respectable heart of the order. Another reason I like Sheffield is the influence he can have on the team’s core of younger African American players, Granderson, Munroe and Thames. It is rare for a team in baseball to have four black players in the lineup this day and age, and while Sheffield has been labeled as someone who is hard to deal with, I think he is just misunderstood.

Speaking of Thames, it should only be a matter of time before this guy replaces Sean Casey at first base, or is inserted somewhere else where he can be an everyday guy. He is currently the team’s 10th man on offense, and he’s just too powerful a hitter for that to continue. Last season Thames had 26 homers in fewer than 400 at-bats, which means he’s due for at least 35 if he gets a full season in. On top of that, look for Joel Zumaya to finally take over the closer role from Todd Jones. Sure he was stupid enough to get injured while playing Guitar Hero, but he also throws in the triple digits, and is the league’s premier right handed reliever. I have total faith in Jim Leyland to make the right decision in both cases. Basically, I like this team a lot in 2007, and have them right behind the Yanks as favorites in the American League.


Minnesota Twins: The Twins second half surge to the playoffs last season (11 games back at the All-Star break to division champs) has to be one of the more underrated runs in league history, but there’s good reason for that. First off, their breakthrough starter Francisco Liriano, a guy who was labeled injury prone his entire minor league career, only two emerge as “Santana the Second” after joining the rotation last season…got injured. He had Tommy Jon surgery in November and is expected to miss the whole season. Without him in the playoffs, The Twins got swept by the Athletics, and just like that, their late season comeback didn’t seem as impressive.

Despite the disappointing end, there were a lot of things to be happy about if you were a Twins fan in 2006. First off, your ace pitcher had another dominating season, posting 19 wins, a 2.77 ERA and 245 strikeouts to win the Cy Young award. It’s not even a fantasy attribution for this guy – Johan Santana is the league’s greatest pitcher, and the drop-off after him is pretty big. Then you have your first baseman that sounds like a hockey player, Justin Morneau, come out of nowhere to win the MVP, and while many argued for Jeter, I think either guy was worthy. On top of that, your homegrown catcher, Joe Mauer, comes out of nowhere to win the batting title, becoming the first backstop to do it since…(google check) Ernie Lombardi! So a team that was dead in the water at season’s half came back to win their division, and produce the AL’s Cy Young, MVP and batting title winners. For that, there is a lot to look forward to in 2007 if you’re a Twins fan.

While the Liriano injury may sting, it may not be as detrimental to the team’s rotation as people think. When he went down last year, some bloke named Boof Bonser stepped in to emerge as the team’s second best starter, and finished the season strong (before the whole rotation, Johan included, choked in the playoffs). Now I’m not sure how much faith one should have in a guy who shares his name with Michael J. Foxx’s love interest in Teen Wolf, but all I am saying is give Boof a chance. As for the rest of the rotation, sure Brad Radke retired, but he was on the tail end. It’s looking like Ramon Ortiz and Sidney Ponson with fill out the three and four spots, so hopefully one of the Twins farm guys can emerge in the number five spot. Oh yeah, and they also have the league’s most underrated and dominant closer in Joe Nathan, to lead their steady pen. So all in all, I really like the Twins this year to compete with the Tigers, but ultimately settle for the wildcard. Let the Boof be told.


Chicago Whitesox: Not exactly the year the team was hoping for following their World Series run in 2005, as the starting rotation fell apart worse than Lindsay Lohan’s body. Mark Buehrle and John Garland got lit up last year in a majority of their starts. Jose Contreras started to show his age (85) and hit a huge a wall after a very strong first half. The same can be said for Javier Vasquez, who lets face it, has never been a top starter since leaving what was then the Expos. Probably their most consistent starter from last year, Freddy Garcia is gone, and for reasons I can’t explain, the Sox dealt away their top pitching prospect Brandon McCarthy to the Rangers.

That last move really has me scratching my head. I know they got two pitching prospects in return, but to trade a guy as highly regarded as McCarthy, who never really got a chance when he joined the team last season, just doesn’t make sense to me. I think the Sox are really panicking about their rotation, and figured a two for one deal was needed to insure their suspect starters. Call it quantity over quality I guess, but nothing can really be said about the move until the season is a good 50 games in. The thing is, despite their pitching problems the Sox did start last season on about the same pace as 2005, going 57-31 at the break. The problem is, they fell a lot harder in the second half of the season, and the competition around them grew. It’s said that pitching wins championships, so when a team wins a World Series on said pitching, and then has its rotation become exploited by two better rotations (Tigers, Twins) the following year, the championship mentality will vanish rather quickly.

I still feel there is a winning mentality on this team, but it is definitely coming from the opposite side of the roster, as the bats crushed the ball in 2006. The team hit a whopping 236 homers last year to lead the league, with the four top guys (Dye, Thome, Konerko and Crede) all hitting at least 30. Now that is an insane amount of power, but it was pretty much wasted on a team that finished third in its division. While many fantasy experts predict drop-offs for both Dye and Crede, I predict similar numbers, the question is will it be enough. The good news is Scott Podsednik has recovered quickly from his off-season hernia, and will be able to start the season on opening day. If not the team would have gone with Darin Erstad, whose career is definitely on the decline (great signing!) Still, I expect this team to hit well enough to have a respectable season. Considering I just picked two of their division-mates to make the playoffs, respectable is the best they can hope for.


Cleveland Indians: A lot of people are really high on the Indians this season for some reason, similar to how they were touted as a playoff team last year. Buster Olney, who I suppose I have to respect because he’s one of ESPN’s top baseball insiders, even picked them to win the World Series while filling in on Mike and Mike this week. Now I say people are really high on the Indians, and it makes perfect sense here, because what exactly is Buster Onley smoking? (I assume some old man weed he snatched from Peter Gammons wooden pipe). The Indians have a fine offense, which will probably only get better this year with the growth (ahem) of Grady Sizemore, and the addition of sleeper second baseman Josh Barfield. Leading the pack is the league’s most underrated slugger Travis Hafner. Sure the guy decided to stop fielding at the ripe age of, uh, 29, but he is probably the league’s premier player when it comes to the overlooked category of OPS. He’s just a monster at the plate.

But what did we just learn with the Whitesox? Hitting can only get you so far, especially in the American League. I’m not saying the tribe’s rotation is awful, but can someone tell me who their ace is? It sure isn’t C.C. Sabathia, unless you’re fine with admitting that your ace is C.C. Sabathia. Cliff Lee, who helped the Indians have the best team ERA in 2005, ballooned to a nice 4.40 last year. Even worse was the team’s bullpen, also strong in 05, which ranked at the bottom of every pitching category possible. “Well obviously I have the Indians picked to win the World Series this year…” rambles Buster Onley, while I’m forced to switch to whoever talks sports on WFAN at ten in the morning.

The team has a lot of faith in Jeremy Sowers, and while he pitched well in 14 starts last year, he still has a lot to prove. He’s still developing, as is another youngster named Adam Miller also expected to come up sometime this season. If these two guys can meet their potential, than OK, maybe the Indians have something to work with, but it’s too early to crown them as anything else but a potential 80 win team. As for their bitch-slapped bullpen of 2006, the team snatched two potential closers this season in Joe Borowski and Keith Folke. Then Keith Folke retired at the ripe age of, uh, 35 leaving last year’s surprise on the Marlins, Borowski, to carry the load. Should be a solid improvement however over the mixed bag of guys they got to replace Bob Wickman last season. Nonetheless, there are too many question marks with this team, and they’re playing in arguably the best division in baseball, maybe better than the AL East. The only thing I really like about this team is that they have an outfielder named Shin-Soo Choo, which sounds a lot like shinshi shinshi from that SNL skit with Christopher Walken. What is shinshi shinshi? I let the master explain it best.

Walken: One wintry night after eating Indian...Catherine whispered into my ear, her breath rich with faraway spices, that she desired to make love. She wanted to try shinshi shinshi. Now, I'd been begging her to try shinshi shinshi for months. She'd refused on the grounds that it was unclean. Finally, she was willing to accept her lover's body in places no one had ever trespassed. Specifically, the ear canal.


The Kansas City Royals: Ugh, Do I really need to breakdown the Royals season outlook? I don’t know why, I’m sure other teams have been worse in my lifetime (although probably not), but the Royals depress me like no other franchise in professional sports. They’re just so plain and generic, and the fact they haven’t competed since the mid eighties doesn’t help. They are coming off three straight 100 loss seasons, after making a slight attempt to be respectable in 2003, which ultimately failed. In fact, does anyone remember that? I think the Royals were leading the central for most of the first half of the season that year and almost became a feel good story. Instead, they stumbled back to awfulness.

The Royals are the type of team that will never be able to hold onto a franchise player (see Beltran, Damon and Dye) because of their small, economically challenged market. The fact that the team’s most recognizable star over the past ten years has been Mike Sweeney is a true indicator as to why the team is such a modern day baseball tragedy. For the love of god, their two biggest free agent signings in the past few seasons have been Reggie Sanders and Gil Meche.

But I should really stop dwelling on this in an attempt to say one positive thing about this team. Like the Devil Rays, the Royals low win total has equaled into high draft picks, netting them top prospects like Alex Gordon, who along with Mark Teahan and Ryan Shealy makes up a fairly decent core of young hitters. But in today’s big league environment, it’s going to be impossible for a team like the Royals to compete. If anyone wants to point to the Marlins sporadic success, another meager market team, just remember that they play in Miami not Kansas City, and that anything’s possible in the National League.

I Hate New York

Why last night was about more than a missed free throw

In many ways, the 2006-07 Knicks are a lot more frustrating to watch than the 2005-06 team. What’s the optimist’s automatic response to that? Hey, we surpassed our win total from last year, and there is still a third of the season left. In my opinion, improving on last year’s record is like Britney Spears deciding to only check in and out of rehab twice this week, rather than seven. Putting things into a positive perspective often blinds us to the fact of the matter at hand – in this case, the Isiah Thomas era Knicks are just a miserable team to have to root for.

So last night, with the Knicks riding two straight victories (a streak is when you win three games in a row folks) into a showdown with the Sonics at home, they had two options on how to play the game. Option (A) win the game decisively, and create false hope in Knicks fans over a three-game streak at home against teams with a combined record of 74-109. Option (B) stick to the routine of the season, fall behind by over 20, come back to take the lead late, and ultimately lose.

Obviously, the Knicks chose option (B), as they have many times this year after stringing together a couple of wins. The turning point of this game exemplified so well what is wrong with this team. Up by one, with about a 12 second differential on the shot and game clock, Marbury brings the ball up court with the Knicks up by one. Once he stopped his progression a little past half court, I knew what was going to happen next. Marbury does it all the time in these situations. Instead of setting up a play, driving to the basket, or god forbid, advancing the ball to at least the three-point line, Marbury decided to drain the clock to about five before making his move.

Of course, when you have the ball that deep from the basket with no intent to pass, you’re left with one option; a horribly low percentage, highly contested fifty footer. It wasn’t even a shot Marbury put up as much as it was a chuck. I can only imagine what was going through Marbury’s head. My friend Grandpa said that Marbury goes into “street ball” mode in these situations, always trying to one-up the opposing team. He probably had Bobito announcing the action in his head saying, “It’s Starbury baby! Here come the pain! You can’t stop the kid from Coney!”

You all know what happened next, the Sonics drove it right to left, and Rashard Lewis got the ball for a ridiculously wide-open three, which he hit. The Knicks were now down by two with five seconds left, and that is when Isiah decided to call timeout. That pains me more than anything else. Why didn’t he call a timeout when Marbury brought the ball up with a one point lead? Does he have any faith in himself to call a successful half court play late in the game? He should have called the timeout, set up a play where Marbury could draw some contact and get to the line. Worst case scenario, if the Sonics rebound and bring it back, he could at least set up some defensive assignments to stop them from scoring.

But no, Isiah decided to keep his timeout, almost predicting that his team would screw up, and that he would need to have one. This is what separates good coaches from bad ones. The idea is to use timeouts in favorable situations, not pressure ones. Instead of calling a timeout up by one with 36 seconds left, Isiah was forced to call one down by two with four seconds left. Which situation would you rather like to be in as a head coach? It’s like the Knicks were a football team with a third and short in field goal territory (favorable situation) and a bonehead play put them at 4th and long, forcing them to punt (pressure situation). If Isiah Thomas coached one football game, at least four of his players would suffer career ending injuries by the end.

So for me, it boggles my mind why radio hosts, TV personalities or writers would waste one second on talking about the missed free throw. It was irrelevant to me (although Kenny Smith’s horrible jinx was the type of thing that Charles Barkley will surely make him pay for on TNT tomorrow).

The thing that really disgusts me, or at least bothers me the most, are all these pointless comebacks. Every time this team comes out playing like shit and falls behind by 20, they somehow manage to comeback in the second half. Now why exactly is this a problem? Because the players are having too much fun, in games that they are for the most part losing. There’s too much towel slapping on the bench, too many players bumping chests for a team that isn’t winning, and it’s all caused by these comebacks. Did anyone see Steve Francis’s weird dance last night late in the fourth? He looked like a skinny white kid from Valparaiso whose team just made the big dance.

I don’t know about everyone else, but I just want some fucking wins. I don’t care if they play like San Antonio in the height of the Tim Duncan era at this point; just win some games, beginning to end, like a respectable basketball team. If I see one more of these “20 point deficit turned comeback lost cause” games, I’m going to think I’m Phil Connors from Groundhogs Day. I’m going to have to kidnap local groundhog Malverne Mel (my newspaper owns him apparently) and drive my car off a cliff to see if it’s true. I guess the only question is…does the Sports Jew feel lucky?

MLB Season Preview: AL EAST

With the baseball season just one month away, I figure a season preview is in order. I’ve decided to break it down division-by-division, team-by-team, to see which squads are at the top of the 2007 food chain. I’m going to start things off newspaper standings style, top to bottom, with the AL East.

(Note: These teams are not listed in the order I think they will finish this season, but rather on last year’s standings.)

The AL East


New York Yankees: Every off-season since 2000, the last time (gasp) the Yankees won the World Series, George Steinbrenner has made it Brian Cashman’s goal to sign the biggest free agent available. From Giambi, to Mussina, to A-Rod (not a free agent, but a huge catch), to Sheffield, to Matsui, to Pavano, to Johnson, to Damon…the list is endless. Actually, it’s not endless. It’s pretty much made up of those guys I just mentioned. The point is, all these acquisitions amounted into absolutely nothing, as far as world championships are concerned. The Yankees have transformed from a team with undeniable chemistry and heart, into a team that constantly has to hand over the reigns to their new star player. So this year, the Yankees decided to buck the trend of spending big bucks, and had their most quiet off-season in years. Sure they signed Pettitte, but he was no where near the biggest free agent signing off the winter. Sure they signed another Japanese prospect in Igawa, but they didn’t shell out the big chips for Dice-K.

So will it pay off? In my opinion, the reason the Yankees have been underachieving so much these past few years is because all the new players deterred any chance of the team creating and building on chemistry. So now, the core they preserved from last season is a year wiser, and a year closer together. Their lineup is unquestionably still the best in baseball. It has a nice blend of speed up top (Damon, Jeter, Abreu), and power in the middle (A-Rod, Giambi, Matsui). I don’t care what anyone says about his inability in the clutch, his fielding, his purple lips or his “I’m too sexy for my shirt” outings in Central Park; when it boils down to it, A-Rod is a great player.

It’s their pitching that has been the big question mark during these ring-less seasons, and while the acquisition of Pettitte will help, their fate will depend more on the rest of their rotation. I hesitate in calling Wang their ace, considering he had less strikeouts last season (76) than a top notch closer like Joe Nathan (95). I have little faith in Pavano returning to his “contract year” form this season, and doubt whether or not he was ever a top rotation starter. In my mind, The Yankees best pitcher is Mussina. He’s always solid, and rarely gets roughed up for more than four runs, an amount this lineup should surpass on any given day. A perfect case in point is Game 2 of the ALDS vs. the Tigers last season. He kept his team in the game, only down by one, but the offense couldn’t produce their next run until late in Game 4. That seems to be the only thing really holding this team back. As long as the lineup doesn’t choke in October again, this team should make the World Series.

I still hate them however, and wish them nothing but the worst for the 2007 season.


Toronto Blue Jays: Yes, they finished ahead of the Red Sox last season (by one game). It was a fairly successful year for the birds. They out-slugged almost every team in the league, and proved that B.J. Ryan was worth the loot. They also managed a pretty decent off-season, signing two pitchers (Tomo Ohka and John Thomson) for almost nothing, while adding another big bat to their lineup in Frank Thomas. Along with Wells, Glaus, Rios and Overbay, Toronto should be even more dangerous than last season, when Rios, who showed a lot of promise missed over 40 games (his middle name is Israel!) The only problem I have with their lineup is that it appears legitimately one-dimensional on paper; they got a lot of power, but lack average and speed. This is why a guy like Reed Johnson, their lesser-known lead-off hitter, will be so crucial in setting the table for the big guns that follow.

Pitching wise, the Blue Jays are one of few teams in the league that can say they have a true ace in Roy Halladay. He has been consistently great in the past few years, with only Santana of the Twins being a better all-around starter in that time frame. Number two starter A.J. Burnett did something shocking last season – he got injured and only pitced 21 starts. He seems to trade off healthy and non-healthy seasons through his career, so the Jays should take the opportunity to make something of it this year. I like Ohka and Thomson rounding out their rotation. They have both shown good signs in their careers, even though Thomson is a total tool box for saying he wouldn’t play with the Mets this off-season (As if we’d want him! We are sooo set with starting pitching). The question is, will all of this be enough for the Jays to make the required leap this year in the AL East, which has been a two-dog race for so long. Considering they finished second last year (first time a team other than Boston or New York did since 98), I’d say it’s very possible.


Victor Zambrano Alert: Well someone had to do it. The Jays are the poor schmucks who ended up with “the other Zambrano” for the 2007 season. As any Mets fan could attest, Victor Zambrano is the worst starting pitcher in the history of the league. Anytime he starts a game, you can only hope that he gives up four runs in 4.2 innings – and I’m dead serious. I don’t know how the Jays plan on using him, but I suggest they keep him in the bullpen and never put him into a single game. If he ever acts up and complains about not receiving any playing time, just throw a cup filled with empty sunflower seeds in his face and tell him to get his ass back on the pine.


Boston Red Sox: After getting the proverbial monkey off their back in 04 by winning the whole thing, the Sox have stumbled back to where they were prior to their miracle run, in the past two seasons. But the reasoning is understandable. They lost their heart and soul pitcher in Pedro Martinez and their heart and soul batter in Johnny Damon. They also traded a lot of prospects for proven veterans, last year with the Marlins (Lowell, Beckett) and this year with the signings of Lugo and Drew from the Dodgers. Their biggest catch of the off-season was Dice-K, who I’ve decided to never spell his name out, since he was given such a cool nickname. Nonetheless, the Red Sox have been making a lot of moves since their World Series season, but unlike the Yankees, the Sox have created little buzz with their list of transactions.

Their starting pitching could or could not be the best in the league this season. Curt Schilling has gone from a bloodied sock warrior to a fat guy who complains a lot (if he wants to be the next David Wells, he’s about 25 pounds and a goatee away). Beckett was awful last year, seeing his ERA inflate larger than his face upon entering the hard hitting AL East. To me, it’s going to take the penciled in three and four starters to make something happen for the Bo-Sox. Converted starter Jonathan Papelbon is a total tossup for me and anyone else who only knows him as a closer. Dice-K is the guy who can really turn things around. He has the potential of becoming a big fan favorite in Bean Town if he succeeds, and can wake up a team that fell apart horribly last season (I nearly forgot about their five-game sweep by the Yankees. Never has one regular season series done so much to crush a team’s post season hopes).

But the pitching forecast seems to overcast a much more prominent issue in Boston this season, and that is their aging and lacking of an identity lineup. While Ortiz is still a monster, his irregular heartbeat last year worries me about the toll the regular season takes on the big guy. He doesn’t seem like someone who conditions himself to well, and it’s inevitable that he’s going to hit a wall soon and miss some games. As for Manny, he too is an injury liability, and has the worst case of bipolarism I have ever seen. One day he’s demanding a trade, the next day he’s saying how much he loves Boston and would never leave. Riiiiiight. As much crap as he’s been getting, J.D. Drew could prove to be the key of Boston’ season, so the fans would be wise to embrace him at first. A career underachiever, if Drew can just lock in on that low porch in left (the pesky pole is just 302 feet from home), hopefully his production can inspire everyone else, and get that offense going again. If not, the Red Sox can easily fall towards the bottom of the division.


Baltimore Orioles: It gets harder and harder for teams to surpass the Yankees the further down they stand in the division, and the Orioles still look years away from doing so. For a team that used to contend in the division back in the mid-nineties, the O’s still have the notoriety of a team like the Cubs to sign big players and make noise in the off-season. But unfortunately for them, it hasn’t translated into a winning season, which hasn’t been had in Baltimore for nine years now. This team hasn’t had anything to be happy about since Cal Ripken broke the consecutive game streak, and that was over ten years ago. Yikes.

The good thing is Miguel Tejada, their premier signing over the past few years, has been very solid in Baltimore, and hit a career best .330 last season. The bad thing is his power has declined at the same time, down to 24 homers last year. When a team puts their shortstop in the cleanup spot, and gets that power production in a division filled with bombers, it doesn’t speak to highly of their chances to compete in the runs department (By the way, it pains me to write all of this considering I drafted Tejada over a slew of other sluggers in my recent fantasy league, including Ortiz). The rest of their lineup is very suspect. Brian Roberts is overrated, Melvin Mora appears to be on the decline, and recent signing Aubrey Huff isn’t exactly enough to bolster them to the next level (it surely didn’t work in Houston, a much friendlier hitters park).

So, as is common with every team trying to make the playoffs, starting pitching will tell the tale of the Orioles success. And like their bats, their arms too are suspect. I am a huge fan of Eric Bedard – uh…actually I barely know anything about him, I just know a lot of sports writers who use that description. In fact, there was a huge ruckus when he was taken in that recent fantasy draft, prompting my friend Kerner to say, “Why the fuck is everyone going crazy over Eric Bedard?” But despite how good he presumably is, their rotation is very bleak from 2-5. And to add to that, Kris Benson will miss the whole year, leading his wife to sleep with former Met Steve Trachsel, who was signed to replace the injured former Met. That pretty much sums up what I think of the Orioles in 2007.


Tampa Bay Devil Rays: The Rays have an awful stigma weighing on their shoulders that sooner or later needs to be shed, or they might as well fold into nothing and disappear from Major League Baseball. They are the only team to never be good, never have a winning season and never have any positive effect on the league in their nine losing seasons of existence. In that timeframe, the Diamonbacks, who came into the league the same year, have had five winning seasons and one World Series title. Another expansion team from the past fifteen years, the Marlins, has won two championships. Even the Rockies had a short-lived period of success in the mid nineties, making the playoffs in the Dante Bichette era.

So why were seven Devil Rays selected in my fantasy draft? Well that answer to that is rather simple – their awful records have translated into a lot of high draft picks. Going into this season, they have a healthy core of Rocco Baldelli, Delmon Young and Carl Crawford at the top of their lineup, all with speed and power. Throw in some other nice bats, and this team has a young, yet slightly experienced offense. They also have an ace up their sleeve in Scott Kazmir, who has the potential to be a top five starter in baseball. The problem is, like Baltimore, their rotation completely falls apart after the number one spot, and their bullpen isn’t the type you want to hand the ball over to early.

While this season is a wash, it could serve as a good opportunity for the Rays to do something they have never done in their nine years - finish third in the division. As pathetic of an accomplishment as that sounds (and it basically is), it will be a positive step forward for a team that is still missing crucial pieces to their success. What they can really use are a few experienced veterans to round out their rotation. Guys like Jon Lieber, currently ranked 6th on the Phillies depth chart, would help their situation. If they can do that, while finding a closer, I am pretty confident this offense can scrap together enough runs to compete one day. It’s still early Tampa fans, but the quest for third is a reality in 2007!

Welcome to Jam Session

I woke up last Sunday morning (err, afternoon) with a severe All-Star Saturday Night hangover. No, not from the amount of beer I consumed (roughly six), but from the lack of excitement that the evening’s events provided. Indeed, I needed something to get me into a good basketball mindset, if I was going to have any chance of having interest once the game rolled around at 8:30. So as I flipped through the channels (enjoying a frosty Coors Light at around 1 p.m.) I stopped at ESPN Classic, figuring they would have some All-Star themed programming for me to partake in. And what they had in store fore me was quite glorious…six straight hours of three back-to-back vintage Michael Jordan era All-Star games! It was one of those television discoveries when you think to yourself, “well I’m not doing anything else for the next six hours,” and then realize how sad that is shortly thereafter. Nonetheless, I was all set to take a trip back to early nineties basketball nostalgia. An era when Ahmad Rashad’s Inside Stuff was my SportsCenter, when NBA mascots actually qualified as C-list celebrities, and above everything else, when the talent of today was paired with the fundamentals of yesterday; all before the 96 draft came around and officially changed everything.

The 1993 All-Star Game:
East Squad Starting Lineup-
Isiah Thomas, Michael Jordan, Shaquille O’Neal, Larry Johnson, Scottie Pippen
Reserves-
Patrick Ewing, Dominique Williams, Joe Dumars, Detlef Schrempf, Larry Nance, Mark Price, Brad Daugherty
West Squad Starting Lineup-
John Stockton, Clyde Drexler, David Robinson, Karl Malone, Charles Barkley
Reserves-
Hakeem Olajuwon, Shawn Kemp, Dan Majerle, Tim Hardaway, Terry Porter, Danny Manning, Sean Elliot


This game took place at the pinnacle of the Jordan Era, when he was fresh of two straight titles, and was dominating a league filled with future Hall of Famers. At the same time, it started to feel like the other players began to hate Jordan for his global domination, and his ball hogging (he took a game high 24 shots). Nonetheless, this was a great All-Game show. In the opening minutes, Jordan got the ball and was defended one-on-one by his West Coast nemesis Drexler, and the crowd went nuts (suffice to say, Kobe getting guarded by LeBron does not create the same response today). The game went into overtime, with the West edging out a victory 135-132. This was the year the game was played in Salt Lake City, and Malone and Stockton “conveniently” won co-MVP honors (alright, they deserved it). The best part about watching these games is seeing all the old players who were once considered All-Stars, and then comparing that to where they are at now. An interesting case is Larry Johnson, who started for the East. This was during his grandmamma phase, a Converse ad campaign in which he dressed up like an old woman, and schooled players on the court (at least that’s how I remember it). It even landed him a gig on Family Matters, solidifying LJ as one of the most popular players in the league. Looking back at the grandmamma phenomenon…it really didn’t make too much sense. If anything it provided an early inspiration for the movie Big Mamma’s House. Also in this game was “Thunder” Dan Majerle, another very popular player in the era. Does anyone remember that this guy made four straight All-Star teams? Neither did I.

The 1998 All-Star Game:
East Squad Starting Lineup-
Penny Hardaway, Michael Jordan, Dikembe Mutombo, Shawn Kemp, Grant Hill
Reserves-
Tim Hardaway, Glen Rice, Reggie Miller, Rick Smits, Antoine Walker, Steve Smith, Jayson Williams
West Squad Starting Lineup-Gary Payton, Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O’Neal, Karl Malone, Kevin Garnett
Reserves-
Vin Baker, Eddie Jones, Nick Van Exel, David Robinson, Mitch Richmond, Jason Kidd, Tim Duncan


Wow, where do I start with this one. For those of you who don’t know, this game took place in the world’s most famous arena, Madison Square Garden, and pinned an aging Jordan against an emerging young Kobe. The Lakers had four All-Stars in this game, with Shaq being the only deserving candidate. Regardless, this game epitomized the dawn of the NBA’s Hip Hop era (minus Iverson, who didn’t start making All-Star teams until his fourth year). The contrasting style of old school vs. new school was pretty apparent when Marv Albert commentated on Garnett’s first bucket. “That’s third year player Kevin Garnett - they call him Da Kid,” said Albert, in one of the worst slang attempts by a middle-aged white man in televised history. At the same time, the game was still “nineties alternative rock era” enough that when a timeout was called, they played the “Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm” song by Crash Test Dummies over the speakers, which I guess was used to capture the downtime of play calling. Nonetheless, it was a pretty eerie changing of the guard. But the thing that got me buzzing the most was the East’s bench. Antoine Walker was a young, cocky second year overachiever who also embodied the new NBA star (he even had his little shimmy back then that he would do after hitting a shot). Then you have Tim Hardaway inserted into the game, which would have been totally normal 15 days ago, when his anti-gay feelings weren’t exposed. Now watching it, I can only imagine how uncomfortable he was playing in New York, what with all the gays. If a homophobic point guard wasn’t enough, the East also had Jayson Williams come off the bench, who kind of, sort of…killed a guy. It was pretty surreal to watch both guys on the court, while buzzed and a tad bit stoned. But aside from the interesting sub-plots of the bench players, the game was just damn good. Sure the East had a washed-up Kemp starting, and a dark foreshadow in Penny (Marv commented “Penny whose stayed healthy most of his career, missing most of the first half of the season with an injury. Penny got re-injured after the break, missed the rest of the season and was never the same again). Jordan still dominated a game in which young players like Kobe (impressive but sloppy) and Eddie Jones (taking way too many shots) were trying to make their marks. It kind of made this specific timeframe all the more intriguing, knowing that all Jordan could do was school them in his waning hours (final score, East 135-114), win one more title in the spring, and leave the hip-hoppers the reigns when he retired. And that’s exactly what happened until….

The 2003 All-Star Game:
East Squad Starting Lineup-
Allen Iverson, Michael Jordan, Ben Wallace, Tracy McGrady, Jermaine O’Neal
Reserves-
Brad Miller, Paul Pierce, Antoine Walker, Vince Carter, Jason Kidd, Jamal Mashburn, Zydrunas Ilgauskus
West Starting Lineup-
Steve Francis, Kobe Bryant, Yao Ming, Kevin Garnett, Tim Duncan
Reserves-
Dirk Nowitzki, Steve Nash, Shaquille O’Neal, Shawn Marion, Stephon Marbury, Gary Payton, Peja Stojakovic


Pretty interesting All-Star game for many reasons. For starters, there was a huge voting controversy in which a still developing, rookie Yao was voted in over a still dominating, veteran Shaq, because more Chinese people voted for him than Americans do in the general election. The Diesel kept his cool, but was obviously not thrilled about coming off the bench for the rest of his All-Star career (does anyone else consider that have something to do with his bolt to the East?) Another interesting thing of note (especially for Knicks fans) was the West’s starting point guard, Steve Francis. That’s right - Francis was once popular and “just” good enough to start All-Star games. Watching him only four years ago, it’s like looking at a totally different player. The guy used to be really toned and ripped - an athletic freak. He literally bounced around the court with a series of explosive dunks in the first quarter of this game. What in god’s name happened to him? Lately he looks about as toned as Ralph Macchio in the Karate Kid, and I don’t think I’ve even seen him dunk once this year. It’s a pretty sad development for a guy who started his career of very similarly to another slashing guard, Dwayne Wade, who should really take everything into consideration, considering his recent injury. As for the game, Jordan took A LOT of shots (27) for an All-Star game, and only made nine of them. But of course, MJ managed to make a 33 percent night look legendary, considering most of those makes were crucial baskets down the stretch, sending the game to overtime (in fact, his last shot put the East up wit a few ticks left, but an ill-advised foul by O’Neal gave the West an opportunity to tie). In overtime, KG took over the game, and gave the West a victory they should have had a lot easier. I mean, this was when the West Coast dominance of bigs really began to take hold, so the fact that the score was so close is a true testament to what MJ meant to these games. Later that year, the LeBron draft took place, ushering in a new era of young stars comparable to the 96 draft. We’re still waiting for either class to produce the next MJ - doesn’t look like it’s happening.

All-Star Weekend Recap

This past weekend, the NBA All-Star game made its much-hyped debut in Las Vegas – a city without a team, but apparently dying for one. The underlying storyline of the whole weekend was how David Stern and Vegas Mayor Oscar B. Goodman have been talking about possibly bringing a franchise to Sin City, with obvious gambling and gaming clauses. (I must add that Goodman has a horribly gigantic Jew shnoz, which makes him look a lot like one of the Juzamek aliens from South Park. I can only imagine Stern and Goodman getting really loaded one night this weekend on blechh and hookers with big hekmahs, only to wake up the next day and say “I can’t believed I sucked you’re jagon." I apologize to all non South Park fans).

I will say one thing about bringing a franchise to Vegas. While I don’t know all the logistics, I’m pretty sure that Stern and team owners don’t want basketball betting to go down in the arena. At the same time, it’s almost impossible to open such a venue in Vegas without slot machines lining the lobby (trust me, it will kill attendance and revenue for that place if those sick gambling addicts can't blow 20 bucks on video poker at half time). I also assume there would have to be some type of a sports book in there. So my compromise is simple. Open up an arena, with some slots, maybe a few tables and a sports book – only one that doesn’t include NBA games to bet. Makes sense right? I’m pretty sure it doesn’t in the grand scheme of things, but it’s a good start if you ask me. On to the weekend, recapped event by horribly executed event.

All-Star Friday Night


McDonalds NBA All-Star Celebrity Game: Always a total train-wreck, this year’s celebrity game took the term to new heights. The proof is pretty much in the final score – 40 to 21. The game MVP you ask? Access Hollywood reporter Tony Potts, who edged out Bill Simmons in a celebrity go-kart race at the Super Bowl, putting him on a good pace for the Grand Slam of celebrity/fundraising sporting events. Honestly, the game had so many “what the fuck am I watching” moments that I almost had to change the channel. The saddest part was the fact that the two WNBA players participating were trying hard to score, and just failed miserably (It was pretty clear from the game that Tony Potts would be an eight time league MVP if he played in the ladies league). But the part that almost made me choke on my brisket (I was enjoying a nice Sabbath dinner at my grandma’s house) was when Reggie Bush rolled his ankle and had to go to the locker room. Honestly, even though he is OK, I don’t know if there would have been a worse moment in sports history than having the NFL’s brightest young star suffer a serious injury in a game more meaningless than Carrot Top’s life (he participated) itself. And since when did Carrot Top get so jacked? It looks like he's been working out with Barry Bonds on weekends. And another thing, this game needs better celebrity players! Where’s Brian McKnight when you need him? Dude’s got game!


Las Vegas NBA All-Star Dance Team: 30 NBA team dancers (one from each team) are voted by fans to perform for a few minutes, in what they think is the big-break of reality TV careers. Sadly I voted for this ridiculous contest on NBA.com, and may I air my disappointment on Crystal from the Dallas Mavericks not being selected (http://www.nba.com/mavericks/dance/Crystal.html). The girl has got ass up from the calf up.


The T-Mobile Rookie Challenge: I didn’t get to see much of the weekend’s first blowout, as I was getting ready for a night out at some rock bar in Long Island (Think Comrades from Wayne’s World 2 minus Del Preston. Actually, it was nothing like Comrades). Obviously the sophomores crushed the rookie team 155-114, which I already pointed out as being an awful class in my mid-season column. Game MVP was David Lee who managed to go a perfect 14-14 for 30 points, a feat even impressive in an exhibition game. Makes you wonder if this will finally convince Isiah Thomas to start him already. (Interesting side note: For everyone who tolerates Isiah’s patience with Lee because he was wise enough to draft him, my buddy Ian informed me last night that Zeke was ready to trade our most promising star last season for Theo Ratliff and Ruben “I chase my baby sitter down the hall naked” Patterson. So we may need to stop singing his praises).

All-Star Saturday Night


Haier Shooting Stars: Yikes…where do I start. First off, what the fuck is Haier and why is it sponsoring this event? And secondly, why does this event even exist anymore. I’d hate to use the word train-wreck again, so I’ll dub Haier Shooting Stars as a clusterfuck. Aside from the fact that it’s boring as hell (pretty much a team version of around the world), it was executed horribly. Each team was supposed to get two minutes to finish, but the shot clock kept stopping at one, and apparently nobody knew how to change it (and why would a professionally trained team of scoreboard operators know how to add one minute to a clock?) On top of that, whoever was in charge of it picked the worst possible old-timers for a shooting competition. Michael Cooper…your confidence is shattered. Good luck finding a head coaching job now. And I’m pretty sure Bill Laimbeer went his whole career hiding how fugly his shot looked, but after taking several attempts to hit a three-pointer, the secret is out. Pretty awful all the way around. It even gave the WNBA athletes confidence for hitting most of the half-court shots, which is the sports equivalent of winning a 50 dollar lottery ticket. Congratulations ladies.

Charles Barkley races Dick Bavetta: Yup, I bet on Bavetta. This was actually the first of two events I gambled on during the night. I had a strong feeling that Barkley would give out much quicker, but the fact is Bavetta is an old man who runs like a woman. And Barkley is no prime athlete himself, considering he was too winded to even speak after the race. Regardless, one of the more entertaining parts of the evening. There’s nothing like seeing Barkley back-tracking the final half lap, while Bavetta desperately leaps for the finishing line, perhaps taking the event a tad too seriously (he bloodied his knee for Christ sake).


Playstation Skills Challenge: It’s funny, I really thought I liked this event; yet when it came on I lost total interest fairly quickly. I think they need to add something to the relay course, or at least light those hoops on fire. I thought Chris Paul would win because of his speed, but there was a running trend in this competition. No one was trying to go remotely fast. I think LeBron James was jogging, and he made it to the second road. Um, I have nothing more to say about this event.


Foot Locker Three-Point Shootout: A pretty good field of shooters, and some pretty high scores put up. Arenas skilled the first round with a score of 23, and was looking like a favorite for the finals. Of course this was the second event I bet, and I took Nowitzki. (The only person who would bet on a Slam Dunk contest is Chevy Chase’s character from Dirty Work, who also bet Mr. T vs. Rocky. Or Krusty the Clown for that matter, who has apparently bet against the Harlem Globetrotters on numerous occasions. But once again, I’m rambling) Nowitzki did make it to the second round, but so did Jason Kapono, who until this season, looked like another white shooter from the West Coast who will never get burn. Now he’s leading the league in three point percentage, and is the Three-Point Shootout winner. He has a title as well, not a bad career for the UCLA grad so far. Unfortunately, Arenas could not match his first round performance, and decided it would be appropriate to shoot his last rack of basketballs with one hand. I actually saw him do this on a YouTube video, in which he challenges Deshawn Stevenson to a shooting contest. It makes his All-Star stunt look like nothing, as he rolls on the gym floor, yelling at Stevenson to distract his shots. He really is psychotic.


Sprite Slam Dunk: Finally, the highlight of All-Star weekend (at least 10 years ago), the slam dunk contest - which is now just called Slam dunk apparently. Anyway, the crop of guys they get for this thing lately, all four of them, never really build up too much excitement for the contest. This year, the judge panel literally consisted of the best dunkers of all time, Jordan, Dr. J, Wilkins, Kobe and Vince. And of course, Jordan stuck out the most, not because he’s Jordan, but for the Morpheus from The Matrix outfit he was sporting. He seriously looked like he was judging a dunking contest in 2028, after being cryogenically frozen. The event actually started out with some dunks. Gerald Green got a good assist from Paul Pierce off the edge of the backboard which he slammed down with authority. Nate Robinson had a nice assist to himself, bouncing it off the ground and finishing with a one-handed stuff. Note that they nailed these dunks on first attempt, which is very crucial in these contests.


Dwight Howard poked fun at not being allowed to dunk on a 12 foot basket, by slapping a sticker he plastered on the backboard at the same height mark. The sticker was a picture of his face smiling, and really showed his comedic side more than his dunking. In fact, Howard appears to be a pretty funny guy, from that and some other instances this weekend. But in the final round, Green and Robinson went head to head, in what seemed like a clear repeat for the Knicks volatile midget hitman. Only this year, his relentless attempt to nail a final dunk did not earn him a win. Instead, Robinson failed miserable over and over at a self assisted 360, only to hit after receiving two clearly illegal extra attempts. Green won with a dunk that looks a lot nicer the more you see it, a near free-throw line leap over a scorers table. All in all, I’m still on the fence about Slam Dunk contests this day and age. I think we need Mprpheus back.

(On top of that, I need to add that when Nate takes so long to execute his dunks in these contests, it definitely takes all the excitement out of them when he finally connects. I made a perfect analogy during the contest. If someone was trying to parallel park, and kept fucking it up while hitting both cars in the process, would you give them any credit for it once they got it right? That’s what I was thinking.)

Coming up next, my All-Star Sunday recap.

Jew-rotic Rants of the Week

(note to readers, this entry is a good one-week old, as I got lazy and forgot to post it. I am trying to update this blog a lot more now with shorter posts, so bear with me...)

With the NFL season now officially in the books (I had the pleasure of catching only one drive of the always exciting Pro-Bowl last week), the Sports Jew is literally at a loss for words. It’s definitely my favorite sport to dissect, analytically and satirically, and with a little less than two months before Mets opening day, I’m going to have to dig a little deeper for column ideas. To mediate the situation I have created a new post category for the blog called “Jew-rotic Rants of the Week,” where I will take a few of the most notable sports stories from the past seven days to argue over or make fun of respectively. I think I got some good material for my first run at it…

What’s the difference between John Amaechi and a refrigerator?


Answer…a refrigerator doesn’t fart when you take the meat out. (I heard this offensive yet hilarious joke at work on Friday, and decided it had the wheels to start off this entry). Joking aside, considering I am not nearly as homophobic as 90 percent of the current NBA roster, Amaechi’s decision to come out last week, four seasons after he retired, was totally reasonable from my point of view. His announcement, which coincided with the release of his tell-all autobiography “Man in the Middle” last Wednesday, brought up the question of whether we will ever see a professional athlete announce his gayness while still active on a pro sports roster. This kind of suggests that what Amechi and a few other guys before him did is cowardly, or in the grand scheme of things illustrates how the world isn’t ready for a gay sports star.

For starters Amaechi is and never was a star, but rather a dime a dozen big man who would never be playing basketball if he wasn’t so abnormally tall. It doesn’t downplay the fact that Amechi waited to come out after retirement because no matter who you are, whether it’s Michael Jordan or, um…John Amaechi, being openly gay in a locker room full of straight guys is currently not a comfortable situation. It’s a sad situation indeed, but it’s also human nature. The NBA and other pro leagues are filled with athletes raised on strict Christian morals, and while I’m pretty sure it doesn’t say “thou shall not shower with tall gay British men” anywhere in the Bible, the moral questioning of the scenario would be unavoidable.

The question is, is it worth it for the incredibly small percentage of gay men in pro sports (radio and TV personalities say it’s as much as one per team, I highly doubt that) to try and convince a league of guys that its OK to play with them, or just wait until after their careers when the money is already in the bank, to come out? I would have to lean towards the latter. The truth is gay prejudice is one of the hardest types to counteract, so for now, gay men deciding to venture into pro sports may have to abide by the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy until such a drastic change of perceptions in the league occurs. But I’ve realized this topic is too dense and serious to rant about, so let’s move on…

All-Star replacements, just because…

I put so much effort into making my selections, and David Stern was poised with making the same decision of who to replace the injured Yao Ming (and Boozer as well). With two spots open I thought it wouldn’t be possible for another snub to be in order, but the omission of Elton Brand shot that down. Instead, Stern decided to go with the vastly improved Josh Howard, and Carmelo Anthony. This is what I don’t get though. If you were going to snub Anthony the first time it would have to be solely be for his suspension, considering the fact that he leads the league in scoring, an automatic All-Star selection attribute. So by that rationale, it wouldn’t matter how many injury spots open up, because it was already decided by coaches that Carmelo didn’t deserve to make the original reserves exclusively because of his suspension, right?

Even weirder is the fact that Stern is the one who has given Melo a second chance at making the squad, considering his near-dictator like rule of the NBA so far this season, which included Melo’s 15 game sit. I guess the commissioner decided that Anthony had learned his lesson enough from the ordeal, and that it would take two roster injuries for the league’s top scorer to make the team, a humbling selection indeed. Still, I feel that Brand has earned enough respect over his rock solid career in the league to get the nod, at least over an emerging star like Howard, but the Mavericks better record probably played a part. Also, Brand is averaging just below 10 rebounds this year, which has a very negative effect on a player’s stat line, even if he makes up for it in other areas (field goal percentage, blocks).

The three words I hate more than anything else are…


Pitchers and Catchers. Seriously, why do so many people attribute this meaningless day as the official start of the baseball season? More importantly they try to generate excitement around it, like fans are remotely interested in what is, in all reality, warm-ups. I’m sorry, but when I hear that it’s only 12 days until pitchers and catchers report to spring training, I don’t circle the date on my calendar. I don’t watch the entire evening SportsCenter in hopes of seeing Mike Pelfrey throwing curve balls to Paul LoDuca at Tradition Field in Port. St Lucie (and yes I had to google the name of the Mets spring training field). For me, it isn’t until spring training begins in about a month or so when the season officially gains my interest, and unless you’re a beat reporter for the New York Post, the same should be said for you.

(Wait a minute…I want to be a beat writer for the New York Post. Uh, scratch that thought process. Pitchers and Catchers all the way! Bring on the pitching of baseballs and subsequent catching of them! Seriously, I want to listen to live press conferences everyday in which Rick Peterson says things like, “yeah his stuff is lookin pretty good” and “still trying to get that curve to break a little earlier.” Riveting stuff.)