THE SPORTS JEW'S 2008 MLB PREVIEW

By guest Jew: Meir Peer


The San Francisco Giants:

Are the Bonds-less bats the worst lineup in baseball?

For the first time in 15 years, the San Francisco Giants will be opening the season without Barry Bonds. While most people outside of San Fran should view this as a good thing, for me, it was well overdue. His controversial image, and the negative media attention, turned San Francisco into a one-man-show, and made you forget that the Giants are in fact – a baseball team. Even though they’ve had a winning record in eight of the last ten seasons, GM Brian Sabean has been tying up team funds as of late, by overpaying for players like Bonds ($15.8M one-year contract), Barry Zito ($127M over seven) and, last winter, Aaron Rowand to a five-year deal worth $60M. Losing Bonds also means losing his drawing power, leaving the team with less money to spend. Sabean will have a harder time now building a well-balanced squad for the long haul. In addition to that, the Giants haven’t had a home grown player reach 400 at bats since Bill Mueller and Marvin Bernard both reached the plateau in 2000. With Bonds gone, no superstar to showcase and seven starters over age 30, the only reason to visit AT&T Park this season will be for the beautiful woman under the hot California sun.

The bats: Ghost town. A question mark after “bats” would have been the more appropriate route, but instead, lets see if I can find some bright spots. Considering Bonds only averaged 353 AB, 27 HR, and 59 RBI the last two seasons, replacing his production shouldn’t have been a difficult task for Sabean. His first option was swapping one of his young arms, most likely Tim Lincecum, to the Blue Jays for OF Alex Rios. That never transpired, and Seaban went and pulled the trigger on Rowand via free agency. Known more as a gutsy defensive specialist for the majority of his career, Rowand took advantage of the sandbox that is Citizens Park, a fierce Philadelphia lineup and a contract year, and translated his .309 BA, 27 HR, 89 RBI and 105 R last season into an annual salary of $12M for the next five seasons. Not bad for the 300th overall pick in the 1998 draft. The problem is Rowand has only topped 13 HR twice in his seven-year career. When you factor in his transition to a pitcher-friendly ball park, in a lineup no where nearly as stacked as the Phillies, this should surely make Sabean look foolish with his free agency pickups, two years and counting (see Zito). The only other guy worth mentioning isn’t even a lock to start, though he should be, and that’s Rajai Davis. His .282 BA and 17 SB in only 51 games, after a mid-season trade with the Pirates, is a strong enough case to plug him atop the order. Manager Bruce Bochy isn’t ready to make him his lead-off guy just yet, however, but did mention that for now, it’s Dave Roberts’ job to lose. Excuse me for not mentioning Randy Winn, Omar Vizquel, Rich Aurilia, and “clean-up” hitter Bengie Molina, but I hope you can forgive me.

The rotation: Promising. Thought I forgot about them, didn’t you? Not a chance. San Francisco will have a very weak offensive team, but make no mistake about their young rotation. Tim Lincecum, whose rookie campaign (7-5, 4.00 ERA, 150 K in 146 IP, .226 BA against) showed more in potential than results, is one of the most promising pitchers in baseball. While he only turns 24 this year, yet his maturity, nasty stuff and crazy delivery should easily make him one of the best pitchers in baseball before you know it. This does, however, prove how horrible the Zito deal was, since he isn’t even the best pitcher on this team. Zito’s first season in a Giants jersey produced sad numbers, to the tune of a losing 11-13 record, and a career worse 4.53 ERA. Now I never looked at Zito as an ace, but he is much better than his numbers last year showed. I expect him to get about 15 wins this year, with an ERA down to about 3.75, The strikeout total should remain low while the walks should remain high. Another promising young arm in the Giants rotation is Matt Cain. His ugly 7-16 record from last season was a fallacy, and sure didn’t match his modest ERA of 3.65. He did K 165 batters too, and some experts claim that Cain has the potential to be among the top strikeout artists this season. He is also an innings-eater, averaging 195 over his first two seasons. At the bottom of the rotation are Noah Lowery and former reliever Kevin Correria. I had a thing for Lowry after a strong rookie campaign in 05, but after an 87 to 87 K/BB in 07, I think I’m over him.

Fantasy Favorite: Tim Lincecum. This team is just terrible, which made it even easier for me to pick. Lincecum will prove that all the hype is for real this coming season. He pitches in probably the weakest offensive division, which should definitely make his sophomore year easier on him. He’ll also have Zito carrying the whole rotation’s pressure on his shoulders, as he tries to justify his contract after a terrible first of seven seasons. I predict 15 wins, an ERA in the low threes and over 180 strike outs this year for Lincecum. He will be this team’s ace of the future.

Outlook: Terrible. No offense at all. None! I know they say pitching wins games, but you still need to put one run up on the board, which this team will struggle to do several times. Lead by Rowand, who has played his whole career in hitter friendly parks, and a lineup stacked with aging mediocre players, I expect the Giants to be last in scoring runs this season. Their pitching might keep them in games, but I fear that this will eventually frustrate the young arms, something they will cope with better with experience. Last season the Giants were tied for the second worst record in the National League, and when you look at the lineup, this year should be worse. Their 71-91 record last year should be very similar this season, but I won’t be shocked if they reach the 100 loss plateau.

THE SPORTS JEW'S 2008 MLB PREVIEW

By guest Jew: Jonathan Israeli


Washington Nationals:

Will the new look Nats make the power switch in their new park?

The Nationals enter this season with a team that, once again, has no standout hitter or pitcher. While the team is mediocre at best, there is a descent amount of young talent with the potential to have breakout years. Another thing to look forward to, as far as offense is considered, will be a new park that isn’t RFK Memorial Stadium. Since the Expos became the Nationals and moved to RFK three years ago, only San Francisco’s AT&T Park has yielded fewer homers than RFK - which averaged just 1.63 per game. This year the Nats move to the friendlier confines of brand new Nationals Park. Along with a new stadium comes two new players, via division mates, the New York Mets. I don’t care what anyone says; Washington totally stole Lastings Milledge. The guy has been one of the most talked about prospects in the past few years and will now finally get a chance to start at centerfield, something the Nationals and their fans are eagerly anticipating I'm sure. The other Met, catcher Paul LaDuca, might have something to prove to his former club, who acquired the guy he’s now replacing in Brian Schneider. Adding to the Mets angle, the Nat’s played spoiler last year beating New York in five of their last six games vs. each other, which contributed mightily to the Mets epic collapse. All of this should add some fuel to the Mets-Nats rivalry. Will all this new excitement translate into a successful season? Well…

Bats: On the rise. Regardless of how the Nats performed last season, it’s safe to say that everyone should see a little power boost now that they are playing in a smaller park. I mean, RFK was just big, old and disheveled; it could have easily been called Ted Kennedy Stadium. I believe that the team’s best hitters will benefit most from their new digs. 3B Ryan Zimmerman is the team’s brightest and youngest star. Over his first two full seasons he’s averaged over 20 homers, 100 RBI, while batting around .275. He’s been a doubles machine over the past two years, hitting over 40 in both, and in a smaller park a few of those doubles should clear the fence, giving Zimmerman 30 homer potential. The team has a big position battle at first, now having Nick Johnson back at full strength. It appears that Dmitri Young will get to start the season, due to his solid performance last year and new contract. The rest of the infield is pretty sub-par, yet versatile. As for the outfield, Austin Kearns is slightly above average at best. Willy Mo Pena exploded for the Nats towards the end of last year with 8 homers and 22 RBI in 37 games. If he could keep that up, he’ll be a solid bat at LF. A lot of focus will be centered on Milledge’s potential breakout. The chance of him becoming an automatic five-tool player is very slim, but at least now he’ll be given the chance to show what he’s capable of on a day-to-day basis. I see him finishing off the year with a 25, 80, .280 campaign.

Rotation: Ace-less. The Nat’s have a great anchor in Chad Cordero, but as far as their starters go, well, um…not so great. They have nothing close to an ace, in my opinion, and aren’t very solid thereafter. Shawn Hill, projected to start opening day, heads a very young and inexperienced rotation that does not yield one single season 10 game winner. Hill, a righty who just came off surgery on his non throwing shoulder, is a ground ball pitcher who sported a respectable 3.42 ERA during his brief stint last year, something the Nats would love to see him duplicate. John Patterson, the most experienced of the bunch, had one good year in 05 when he had 185 Ks and posted an impressive 3.13 ERA, but injuries have hampered his performance since. It looks like Jason Bergmann, John Lannan, and Matt Chico will round out the bottom. All are young and seem to have some potential, but it's too early too gage anything at this point.

Fantasy Favorite: Ryan Zimmerman. A resurgence at 3B in recent years, i.e. A-Rod, Wright, Cabrera, Ramirez and Braun, has caused the position to become a hot commodity in early draft rounds. Zimmerman shouldn’t go as early as these guys, but shouldn’t go too much later considering the huge drop off at the position after him. As I mentioned earlier, he’s bound to improve his already impressive numbers playing in a hitters park. He doesn’t have much speed – 11 bags in 06 dropped to 4 in 07 – he does however get on base and score runs, one shy of 100 last season. He is still very young, and while many will argue that he already has, everything is in place for Zim to really breakout this season.

Outlook: Not this year. The team definitely got better, at least as far as hitting is concerned. Unfortunately for the Nats, they play in the most competitive division in the NL. With the Mets and Phillies going at each others throats for a division crown, the Braves still hanging around and being competitive, and the Marlins due for their third World Series any day now – it’s going to be impossible for such a young, inexperienced team to compete, at least this year.

THE SPORTS JEW'S 200 MLB PREVIEW

By guest Jew: Meir Peer


Baltimore Orioles:

Can Markakis lead a rebuilding O’s squad?

The Baltimore Orioles enter 2008 following one of the busiest off-season's they've had in a while. This time, however, the O's were sellers instead of buyers. After coming to grips with the fact that they couldn't compete in the AL East, ownership decided to shed some salary and enter a rebuilding phase. Along with some major changes to field personnel, this will also be general manager Andy MacPhail and head manager Dave Trembley's first full season leading the team. The off-season started with the O's trading their highest paid player. SS Miguel Tejada, whose name has been attached to several trade rumors, was redeemed with a trade to Houston's homer friendly park, which could possibly resurrect his career. Meanwhile, SP Eric Bedard was working towards a contract extension, to lead Baltimore's young staff into the future. Unfortunately, a deal never came to fruition and Bedard was dealt to Seattle, where he will team up with King Felix Hernandez. On the bright side, Baltimore has to be delighted with what they received in return — a much more promising package than the one that landed Johan Santana in New York. The centerpiece of the deal, OF Adam Jones, has a five-tool arsenal and tremendous potential; even though he only hit .246 with two jacks in limited at bats last season. The O's should also benefit from George Sherrill's bullpen relief, which helped Seattle to the sound of a 2.37 ERA, .98 WHIP and 56 Ks in 47 innings last season. Similar numbers should help them cope better with the loss of closer Chris Ray, who had Tommy John surgery.

The Bats: Lacking. When I think of Baltimore's offense, I get this uncertain feeling in my stomach. Luke Scott (.255 avg., 18 HR, 64 RBI in 369 at bats last season) came over in the Tejada trade, and will look to raise his modest numbers with more playing time. 3B Melvin Mora has been on a steady decline since signing a $25 million, three-year contract after the 05 season, and I have the feeling the downward trend will continue this year. The obvious bright spots in this line up are OF Nick Markakis, who swiped a surprising 18 bases in 07 after recording only two the previous season, and 2B Brian Roberts. Markakis should continue his ascent, after batting .300 with 23 homers and 112 RBI last season. The problem here, just like in Kansas City and Pittsburgh, is the star player's supporting cast. If the Orioles want to hold on to Markakis come free agency time, they better show their franchise guy that they are working towards building a winner. Roberts, meanwhile, could find himself batting lead-off for one of the best lineups in baseball, as trade talks with the Cubbies just don't seem to go away. Regardless of his team, Roberts plays 2B and leads off, and does both very well. The role players in this lineup are mediocre at best, with the potential to do more. If this team loses Roberts, however, it will be hard to replace him in the batting order, leaving the O's with a very weak offense for this season.

The Rotation: Ace replacement. With Bedard gone, the Orioles will look towards Jeremy Guthrie to emerge as their new ace. Guthrie, who entered the O's rotation last May, had a stretch in which he allowed a run or none in six of nine games from May to June. If not for a rib injury late last season, I think Guthrie's numbers — 7-5 3.70 ERA, 1.20 WHIP — could have looked a lot better. His low win total is a direct result of Baltimore's frustrating bullpen, which also prevented Bedard from having a 20 win, Cy Young caliber, season. If Guthrie can top 200 innings, get solid relief work, and a few lucky bounces on offense, 13-15 wins is a possibility. Looking at the next spot in the rotation, we find 23-year-old south paw Adam Loewen, who will be returning from season ending elbow surgery. Loewen, who stands 6"6, only pitched in six games late last year, but the O's seem to like his raw talent. This is in spite of his high walk total, 26, in just 30 innings last year. Despite that, look for him to break out this season, because for some reason, I got a feeling about this kid. Next in line is Daniel Cabrera, a perfect example of a reckless flamethrower. While he can rack up the Ks, his league-leading 18 losses last year, and proneness to leaving balls over the plate will continue to be his undoing. I have faith that the loss total will go down while the strikeouts will go up, but an ERA in the high fours seems inevitable. The tail-end of this rotation isn’t set, but Steve Trachsel was invited to camp, which always gets me real pumped. Look for Hayden Penn and Troy Patton to battle for who gets the call to fill out the rotation, and who gets a ticket back to Norfolk for more polishing.

Fantasy Favorite: Nick Markakis. "NIKO! NIKO! NIKO!" I was actually at Markakis's home coming at Shea (Strong Island son!) two years ago, and man does he have some fans here. The Glen Cove native is my clear favorite for fantasy, and that is with all due respect to Roberts, his 2B eligibility, and his 50 steals. It's just hard to argue with a guy who goes from .291,16, 62, 2, to .300, 23, 112,18 in one season. Batting over .290 in his first two seasons illustrates Markakis's patience at the plate at the young age of 24. Add the unforeseen increase in steals, along with the jolt in RBI, and Markakis is looking a lot like Bernie Williams in his prime, minus the all-star supporting cast. Go ahead and add "the sky is the limit" to his baseball card.

Outlook: It depends. Realistically, this team can’t contend in the AL East, and management should know that after its off-season fire sale. The O’s may have even locked down last place, with Tampa looking to finally give up that claim. The truth is, Baltimore is a team looking at its future. The team is more interested in seeing its young birds blossom into a young core of hitters and pitchers. This season will be about Jones proving he was worth dealing Bedard, Guthrie maturing into the staff's ace, and of course, Markakis taking his game to a higher level, and eventually becoming the face of the franchise. Still, when you take away Bedard and Tejada and replace them with an upcoming prospect and defacto ace, improving from a 69-93 season looks unlikely. I expect a similar record for the O's this year, but a step in the right direction nonetheless.

Good riddance Matrix; Bring on the Diesel

(In honor of Shaq’s debut tonight with the Suns against his former team, the Lakers, here is a guest-jew column from Jose “Grampa” Soto on the deal that brought the Big Aristotle to Phoenix.)



I, a loyal Suns fan since the beginning of the 92-93 season, love this trade. I’ll start of by discussing what Phoenix gave up, Shawn Marion. A couple points if I may. First, after years of being labeled underrated, I think everyone, Phoenix management included, started to realize how overrated the Matrix was. He was making "max money", the most on the team, yet he still complained about not getting enough respect from the organization. WTF is that? The Suns have always given Marion what he wanted — the minutes, the money and a hall of fame point guard in Steve Nash to get you the ball. It’s not anyone in the Suns organization’s fault that your shot looked terrible coming out of our hands. It’s not the Suns fault that you could never shoot more than 39 percent from three-point land.

Marion complained about not having plays run for him. Well Shawn, what exactly can you do to create your own opportunities? You have no post-up game, no moves getting to the hole and a decent handle at best. Another aspect of Marion’s game that I felt was overrated was his defense. I’m going to throw some names out there, so we can think back to see if Marion locked any of them down in a crucial playoff game. For Tim duncan, Kobe Bryant, Manu Ginobili, Tony Parker, Josh Howard and Dirk Nowitzki — the answer is no. I ask you, what’s the point of being able to guard multiple positions if you can’t even get one right?

Now, for Shaq. The Suns are third worst in the league when it comes to giving up offensive rebounds. Say what you want about Shaq, but he’s still 7”1, 325 lb. Seriously though, he’s still putting up great rebounding and blocks numbers when you consider his minutes per game. And when you look past all the hoopla of whether he’s hurt, too old or whatever else people say, anyone who watches basketball knows guys play a lot better when they are motivated. And anyone who thinks that going from a last place team to a first place team won’t motivate Shaq is in for a big surprise.

Did I also mention that the Heat had to take on that waste of skin Marcus Banks and his disgusting, four-years remaining, contract? I give the edge to the Suns big time in this deal.

Heat- C+
Suns- A

THE SPORTS JEW'S 2008 MLB PREVIEW

By guest Jew: Meir Peer


Kansas City Royals:

Can you really fear a team led by Gordon and Meche? In the AL Central?

Ah, the Kansas City Royals – Missouri’s other team. Not much to rejoice in this town lately. Having lost 100+ games in four of the last five years, the Royals are looking to top the .500 mark for only the first time since 2002. I can’t see this being an easy objective for the “Boys in Blue,” considering they will constantly match up with a re-stacked Tigers squad, a hungrier and more mature Indians Tribe, and an improved White Sox team, in the competitive AL Central. Unlike the Pirates, you have to give Royals ownership a little credit for at least trying to improve with a low budget and a small market team. Last season, GM Dayton Moore showed Gil Meche (11-8, 4.48 ERA, 156 Ks for Seattle in 06) the money, shelling $55 million over five years on the unproven righty. The team was rewarded with an encouraging, by today’s standards, 3.67 ERA that should have been coupled with better than a 9-13 record, if Meche received more run support. Moore responded to that weakness this off-season, by adding some pop to the Royals heart of the order, inking OF Jose Guillen (and his Mitchell allegations) to a one-year deal. One thing is certain – there were still be more people fascinated by the pretty waterfalls at Kauffman Stadium, than the ball played, come spring.

The Bats: Not in this division. Lead by their young stud and future 30/30 candidate 3B Alex Gordon, who raised his batting average by 32 points after the break, the Royals do have some decent hitters that will need to come alive this year, if they want to even think of competing in the NL Central. OF Mark Teahen showed some promise with a decent sophomore year in 2006 (.290 avg., 18 homers), but then followed to hit 11 fewer long balls, despite playing in 35 more games, last season. New Manager Trey Hillman, who just came over from Japan, was actually one of the first candidates for the Yankees job. He appears to have faith that John Buck can become a productive, power hitting catcher with .300, 30, 100 potential. I, don’t. Meanwhile, the man at the top of the order, David Dejesus, scored 101 runs last year. Sounds good right? It wound sound even better if he batted higher than .260. Raising that average to about .280 would be ideal for a guy who sets the tone for the rest of the lineup, especially since Dejesus seems to have a knack for scoring runs. Guillen will be asked to carry the offense until Gordon is ready to take the reigns. He may also be asked if those shots to his ass stopped hurting after the first few times. Ouch. Oh wait, this is Kansas City! Who cares?

The Rotation: Modest at best. Being a Mets fan, the first thing that comes to mind here is Brian Bannister, but we’ll start from the top. While he wasn’t a top ace, Meche was a pleasant surprise his first season in blue. Yet despite never allowing more than three runs in his last 10 starts of 07, Meche only managed to pick up two wins during that time frame. I never was high on this guy, but then again, I never had a reason to be. I don’t foresee an improvement, or even a duplication of last year, this season and that’s more based on his past numbers and the team he has to play for. As for Bannister, I have to admit, I was a bit stunned when I looked up his numbers recently. They were actually much better than I first thought! Looks like those few, pre-injury starts with the Mets were not flukes, and the guy does have more value than Ambiorix Burgos. Right now, he’s still a number three at best, but potentially a good number two.

Fantasy Favorite: Alex Gordon. Sadly, this is kind of a no-brainer. That’s how unappealing the Royals are in fantasy. I drafted him late last year, assured by every writer that he’s the next David Wright, and ending up dropping him later than I should have. Gordon did manage to catch a hot wave after the break, while rotating between both corner positions, raising his value. I wouldn’t call him a sleeper, since more is expected from Gordon this year, but I’d still play close attention and make sure he doesn’t get off to a slow start again. A .280, 25, 75 season is not out of reach. Boosting his stolen bases total, 15 last year, will also boost his value this season, which should happen if Gordon gets off to a better start.

Outlook: Keep looking. There’s nothing to see here. Their lead off man hits .260 and only swipes 10 bases, while their core guys average less home runs combined that Barry Bonds does in one injury-filled, steroids induced season. I’m willing to bet that this team will lock down the cellar of the elite AL Central, and most likely, for a while. Alex Gordon will be their lone bright spot, and that alone will not prevent another 90 loss season.

THE SPORTS JEW'S 2008 MLB PREVIEW

(I have returned from the murky depths to bring my loyal and devoted, all five of you, a team-by-team season preview for the upcoming baseball season. Each team will have a fairly in-depth column, including an opening introduction, the bats, the rotations, fantasy favorite and outlook section. I will do my best to preview two teams at a time, one from each league, starting off with the two most irrelevant teams, and finishing off with the two most relevant. So stop watching those celeb-reality dating shows, put down the bong/pipe/blunt, and enjoy!)


Pittsburgh Pirates:

Can the Bucks pull a Detroit Tigers and rekindle their glory days?

When you consider the most irrelevant teams in Major League Baseball, you want to look for three key indicators: a long stretch of losing seasons, a lack of a marketable superstar and an owner/management with no strong desire to improve the team. The Pirates haven't had a winning season since, ahem, 1992 (the longest losing season streak in sports); haven't had a marketable star, arguably ,since Barry Bonds left town; and well, as for their desire to improve, one has to only look at the past off-season. They did nothing. But this team isn't the Tampa "Rays," as they liked to be called these days. The Pirates have a fairly rich history which includes five World Series titles, and a number of all-time greats like Honus Wagner, Bill Mazeroski, Ralph Kiner, Roberto Clemente and Willie Stargell. That's why I compare them to the Tigers, another historic team that was dwelling it down in their division's cellar before climbing to baseball's elite. The difference here being that the Tigers were, and still are, making the moves to improve their roster and compete in the American League. The Pirates have it easier in the National League, in my opinion, but it is impossible to give them any credit after such a quiet off-season. Perhaps a new, well-known manager could help, along the lines of a Jim Leyland who led Detroit to success. The former Pirate skipper would have actually been a good fit. Instead, the Pirates promoted their Triple A coach, John Russell, who they previously fired as their third base coach less than three years ago.

The Bats: Non-existent. Something tells me you’re not going to see Pirates players fly off the board at your fantasy draft this year. Jason Bay, the team’s best hitter, saw a huge decline in numbers last season. Even if he was to return to his 05-06 form, he doesn’t have enough complimentary hitters surrounding him to get runs on the board. Their second most promising, all-around threat is shaping to be Xavier Nady, who at best can be a solid .280, 20, 80, 80 guy. I haven’t forgotten about Adam LaRoche, it’s just that that aside from belting 32 homers for the Braves in 2006; the guy is average at best. His numbers also dropped last year, and he doesn’t get on base enough (.345 OBP last season). Freddy Sanchez is an above average hitter for a second baseman, who bats .300 and has an underrated knack for driving in runs at the two-hole (166 RBI in the past two seasons). I wouldn’t be surprised if some team tries to snatch him before the season’s trade deadline. After that, the rest of the team lacks speed and power, never a good thing.

The Rotation: Fair and balanced. Last year the Pirates made a puzzling mid-season trade, acquiring SP Matt Morris from the Giants for two prospects. It appeared as if they were trying to add one more piece to fill out their rotation, which is led by the duo of Ian Snell and Tom Gorzelanny. Both are nice starters who will suffer from a lack of run support, which can lead to frustration, which can lead to second-half declines. See...last season. The Pirates don’t have a bad rotation; they just don’t have an intimidating one. There are no glaring weaknesses, with Pat Maholm and Zack Duke most likely rounding out the bottom, but they don’t have one guy who can be considered an ace, unless they somehow mutated the best qualities of Snell (heat) and Gorzelanny (breaking stuff) to form one pitcher. All five of their guys are capable of logging innings, so run support will play huge in how well the rotation does.

Fantasy Favorite: Matt Capps. Many would say Jason Bay here, but the guy has clearly fallen off in outfielder rankings, namely because his 21 stolen bases in 2005 is proving to be an aberration. Without speed, Bay is a very pedestrian fantasy player, at least when you compare him to top-three round talent. I like Capps, who came in after the all-star break and still notched 18 saves with a 2.28 ERA and a 1.01 WHIP. What I especially like is his strikeout potential as a closer. Capps had 64 Ks in less that half a season’s work, which makes him a strong case for 100 punch-outs this year. While he won’t get as many opportunities as guys on better teams, I still like Capps to finish with around 35 saves, an ERA in the twos, and potentially, 100 strikeouts.

Outlook: Bleak. In a division where other teams got better, i.e. everyone, the Pirates are almost a mortal lock to finish in last place. The team simply doesn’t have enough run producers, by way of power, contact hitters or speedsters, to give their starters some breathing room. The pitching could be a lot worse for this team, which is strange to say, for a team I have such low expectations for. Nonetheless, the Pirates did nothing to improve their position in the NL Central this season, and barring any highly unlikely mid-season trades (and not in the Matt Morris realm of impact), I don’t see this team winning more than 68 games. There will be no return to glory. No “We are family*,” at PNC.

*The 1979 Pirates, the last team to win the World Series, adopted the disco hit “We are family” by Sister Sledge as their team song. For whatever reason, no one seemed to care that it was a song about a family of sisters.

Living in a Fantasy...

I need to stop blaming Heath Miller for my own personal issues. Fast.


So just recently, I got off the phone with my buddy Ian (I write buddy like Bill Simmons when he refers to his friends, although I’m sure all three people who are reading this know who Ian is, and that includes Ian). Not surprisingly, our conversation was dominated by fantasy football. We spoke at length about the upcoming playoff picture, Ian, being happy that he has all but secured a first round bye, I, still wallowing in the fact that the worst offensive game in recent memory closed the door on my chance of obtaining what I desperately need right now - one risk-free weekend off from fantasy football.

I tried to look for a silver lining in failing to clinch that bye-week, thinking to myself, hey, that’s one more week of fantasy football I get to play. Sadly, that is not the case. I wanted and needed that week off, and in a bad way. It’s one week where I can avoid watching my team underachieve and crush my championship hopes. Its one week where I can avoid watching my bench players outperform the guys I started over them. Its one week I can avoid yelling at the television, football coaches in particular, for calling plays that helped their teams win games, while simultaneously neglecting my fantasy players.

It has become a sickness, and as a sports fan, I can honestly say I’m not to thrilled about it. In the years before I did fantasy, it was all about the games, and the actual real life outcomes, and not the statistical allegiances I had with players. The only heartache I experienced was my own team losing, but in fantasy world, you can find pain in one team’s running back, another team’s defense, and yes, even a team’s kicker all within the span of minutes.

So I started thinking to myself today, why do I hate Willie Parker so much? What is he really doing so wrong, other than being second in the league in rushing yards and helping his team to a probable division title. I hate him because he doesn’t score touchdowns. I also was especially peeved last night when Pittsburgh, with a first down within the five, couldn’t devise a Parker touchdown that would have one me the week, and that first round bye. I yelled at Mike Tomlin (I think, my anger was really directed to no one specifically) for not pounding it in for three straight plays, and giving his tailback the highest probability of hitting pay dirt.

Instead, he was simply trying to set up his team for a game winning field goal, and on a part of the field where Jeff Reed wouldn’t feel like Nancy from a Nightmare on Elm Street, when Freddy turned the staircase into a sloppy goo. In other words, the field was literally 85 percent diarrhea last night, and god forbid the coach seek out the one part of the turf that was remotely fertile, so his kicker could have the best chance to nail what would normally be a chip shot.

As I sat riled on the coach, sputtering out curse words like a madman, my brother reminded how little Mike Tomlin cares about my fantasy season and that of everyone else. How he was just trying to win a painfully scoreless game the best way he possibly could, and if that meant avoiding a possible fumble by Parker in the slippery swamp that was Heinz Field last night, then so be it. It’s a time like this, when you really have to separate fantasy from reality.